How To Make Good Friends

Good friends and Great Times. Would you like to get close, reliable friends? Here are a few simple suggestions on how to make good friends and develop friendships that last a lifetime.

What Are You Looking For In a Friend?

how to make good friends

Most people love to be around people who think like them and appreciate them. Most people want to have good friends that they can have a great time with- friends who will not pressure them against their will. Here are tips that will make finding good friends easier!

Before you go off searching for good friends, it is a good idea to really think about what kind of friends you want. Not just anyone will do, if you are looking for a genuine friendship that will last. Think about what qualities attracts you to a person and keep this in mind as you try to form friendships.

Your friend does not have to be  a carbon-copy of you, but you probably want someone who is kind, considerate, honest and loyal, among other good traits. This will make you less desperate when it comes to people you meet- because you will have a clear idea of what sort of personality you would work well with.

Don't settle for less. If you start a friendship with someone who is not very trustworthy or someone who spreads bad rumors, it will likely not turn out well in the end.  

However, don’t expect perfection. Nobody is perfect and if you expect your friend to be flawless, you may keep getting frustrated and disappointed. 

Interests/hobbies

  • When it comes to thinking about what kinds of friends you want, you may also look for those who have the same hobbies and interests as you, as then you will immediately have something in common.
  • Perhaps you go to an extracurricular club where you share your hobby with many other people. You could try and converse with your peers and get to know them better.  Many people find good friends this way, as they are in a setting to talk and they already have some form of common ground.

Don't Limit Yourself, Widen Out

  • Making friends is an opportunity to expand your social group and widen out, to get to know people of diverse backgrounds. Don’t limit yourself to people who look a certain way, otherwise you will be missing out on potential friendships.
  • Also, age should not be  a barrier to friendship. I have many friends you are older than me and younger than me. I have a great time with all of them!
  • Having friends of different backgrounds and ages gives you an awesome experience, because you  will have to deal with people with different backgrounds and ages at some point.
  • I also find that having friends who are older than you can be very beneficial, you learn so much! You pick up good habits and inspirational stories that you may not get from someone your own age. So don’t be afraid of widening out!
  • After all, it is what is inside that really counts.  Look for those golden nuggets in people's personalities and reach out to them. Age and appearance should not put you off if you are interested in finding good friends.
  • Variety is fun, that is why we don’t tend to have the same meal three times a day. It is the same when it comes to friends.
  • You can experience a unique atmosphere when you are with people that you wouldn’t normally hang out with. It builds you up as a person and makes you more aware.
  • I would definitely recommend reaching out to someone who you might not normally. It's the old 'judging a book by its cover' thing. It severely limits you if you just prejudge and avoid.

Be the Kind of Friend You want to have.

  • This is quite a simple principle. But it's so important . Be the kind of friend you want.   There is a brilliant biblical principle: Treat people as you want to be treated. It is very effective. If you want a friend who is forgiving and considerate, be considerate and forgiving. 
  • People who have those qualities will be drawn to you, and how great that would be. No one really likes someone who is mean and apathetical (forget what Mean Girls taught you, in the real world, if doesn’t work that way). People are attracted to others who are genuinely kind and pleasant. So in the quest for searching for good friends, don’t forget about yourself.
  • Don’t put on a false front to please, be real and be approachable. In short, be yourself because that is the most sustainable version of you.
  • And it there are parts of your personality that you think are stopping you from making good friends- work on it. It's a hard thing to do sometimes, and you need to take a true and honest look at yourself. Self- denial can prevent you from making changes and getting where you want to be.
  • There may be a few personality traits that you need to tweak (like a bad temper) but once you do your best to change you will be so proud of yourself. Of course, like we said earlier, you don’t need to be perfect- but you do need to put some effort in. 
  • And you know what? People will see when you are trying to be the best version of you, they will appreciate it and it will draw them closer to you. You don’t need to be someone amazing celebrity-like sensation, and you do not need to re-create who you are to fit in. If you stay true to yourself, the right people will come to you. And they will stay.  

Speak up.

Sometimes it can be hard to make friends if you are shy. Been there. Done that.  You may feel nervous about speaking to new people and worry that you will not please them. Many people get worried that they will not fit in and that people will give them strange looks.

But really half of the problems we have, are just in our own head. They are figments of our imaginations.

A lot of time, we shy away because we think people are judging us in a horrible way, but a lot of the time, that just is not true. You need to muster up the courage to speak, and speak up.

Many shy people have amazing personalities that others just love, when they are brave enough to express themselves. So try your best to make conversation, by asking a question then letting the other person talk if you are not that comfortable.

Listening is good. Listening is an important part of being a good friend, so don’t be worried if you feel you must be talking all the time. Sometimes you just have to go for it. I know it can be tough, but as you practice, you improve your conversation skills. You become more confident. That’s what happened to me, and now I get told I'm a chatterbox!

Say no when you need to.

Making good friends doesn't mean accepting every friend request that comes your way. Sometimes you may get offers from people who do not have the same standards as you -people who you know may try to pressure you against your will. Be careful of those kind of friends who may be 'fake' friends. Having friends doesn't mean you have to give away who you are or what you think. If you find that your friends are persistently trying to mold you into something you're not, if may be time to walk away and find a better group.

Friends should be there to encourage you and help you achieve your goals, not bring you down and make you feel bad. So don't be afraid of letting go of people who are not right for you. Peer pressure is strong, so it is best not to get involved with people who will try and move you in the wrong direction. Sometimes you've just got to say no. And that's where knowing the sort of friend you want comes in. Look for good, positive qualities and mix with people who will bring out the best in you.

After all, it is not just about picking up friends, the goal is making good friends.

More on Friendship...

Here's a quote that I really love, about friendship:

'A good friend says bad things to your face and good things behind your back. A bad friend does the opposite.'

  • The quote above fits in with the idea of being that friend that you would love to have. Just don’t do things that you know would hurt your friend. Its so not worth it! Don’t say bad things behind their back.
  • Be willing to give and take constructive criticism, but commend and recommend your friend too. I think the quote above is so true and so applicable to this subject. It's something you want to think about when trying to make and keep good friends.

Thanks for reading my page on how to make good friends! I hope you enjoyed it and if you did please share it with all your good friends ;).

How to Win Friends & Influence People

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