Why am I so Unhappy? I never find joy.
These are thoughts that may pop up in our heads, even if we never say them out loud.
Unhappiness – what could we do to trigger it?
1. We have expectations that are way too high.
This is a real tough one, especially because its effects can be extremely extensive.
However, the danger is that when we consistently expect too much from a person or people in general – we often end up disappointed.
Again and again people don’t measure up the way we believe they should, and this makes us despondent. It can even make us feel betrayed.
Another major aspect of expecting too much from people is that we often think we can control everything.
Moral of the story : Expect nothing and Appreciate Everything.
That way you’ll be happy, because when things go bad you will learn how to cope but when things go well – oh it’s brilliant.
Another HUGE mistake we make. The unbridled pursuit to make sure EVERYONE likes us. Really though, we know why this makes us unhappy- it’s because Not Everyone Will Like You All The Time.
And that is ok, because if you’re honest about it, you realise that being everyone’s cup of tea is not the best thing.
That you were compromising something important.
Do your all to have a good conscience and a lifestyle that you can really be proud of: those whose opinion really counts, will be pleased too.
Learning to find happiness in the little things that we are blessed with is the best way to keep joyful.
Because here is the truth: if you don’t learn to be satisfied and content with what you have, you won’t experience true happiness. You’ll keep chasing after things.
If you learn to be content with life and not stuff, you actually reduce your needs and increase your joy.
We’re likely not all living the life of our dreams at the moment. But really loving and appreciating the unique privileges and opportunities we do have now, is underrated.
Realize that your life may well be someone else’s paradise, and make the most out of it- or happiness will always elude you.
‘Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.’
Dwelling on the past is the next major thing we do that makes us unhappy. Recalling bad memories repeatedly can sting you every time.
Reflection on past events helps us to make our future better but if you are stuck in the past, you can become emotionally worked up.
The fact is, what’s done is done so there’s no use in dwelling on things you cannot change- especially when it just causes you more upset.
Our minds have a way of bringing back past events, even making them seem worse than they were - and then we afflict ourselves with endless thoughts about how things should have and could have gone differently.
The good news is that we change and improve with time, so we should embrace that and not punish ourselves with our past failings.
Next time you feel weighed down by past events, think of your most recent achievements and remind yourself that a good future relies on you renewing yourself and moving on.
A most pleasant way to sum it all up,
You can’t start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one….
This is one BIG thing we do that makes us unhappy. We compare ourselves to people unnecessarily, and often when there is no real basis for doing so.
It’s quite sad how often this happens when in fact we have much to be grateful for and we don’t realize that our lives are often more joyful than the people we envy.
When on a face to face- everyday level, we compare ourselves to others based on what we think they have and we don’t, even with things that we obviously don’t need to be happy.
Once we can change that: learn to have self-confidence and see past what causes jealousy at the moment- we have gone a long way as a whole.
I’ll be happy when…
We let ourselves believe that we cannot find happiness or that happiness belongs to a special set of lucky people.
Reaching all of your ‘goals and dreams’ doesn’t not always equally ultimate bliss and happiness, unfortunately.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope it helped you to think about the question : ‘why am I so unhappy’ and some pains we inflict upon ourselves by having an incorrect attitude.
Let’s smile together and put away the habits of miserable people.
There are so many things to be happy about if we open our eyes!
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