Why Am I So Unhappy?
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Things We Do That Make Us Unhappy
Why am I so Unhappy? I never find joy.
These are thoughts that may pop up in our heads, even if we never say them out loud.
Unhappiness – what could we do to trigger it?
Today I’m discussing some limiting beliefs and actions that make us unhappy, habits we unfortunately tend to have.
Reading about ‘sadness’ could make you feel down, but I write this in the hope that it can be used as a mental reminder and a way for all of us to break free from doing the things that bring ourselves hurt.
1. Expectations That Soar Through the Sky. Then Disappoint Us.
1. We have expectations that are way too high.
This is a real tough one, especially because its effects can be extremely extensive.
- When we have expectations that are too high, it can affect the way we see others, but also ourselves.
- Having high expectations can come from someone who is totally positive and has sunny intentions.
However, the danger is that when we consistently expect too much from a person or people in general – we often end up disappointed.
Again and again people don’t measure up the way we believe they should, and this makes us despondent. It can even make us feel betrayed.
Another major aspect of expecting too much from people is that we often think we can control everything.
- We forget that people are much deeper than the level we see them at, and thus we become really shocked and thrown apart when our plans and thoughts towards them don’t work out.
- We plan out grandiose scenarios and future in our head, but that leaves us feeling dejected because it’s all resting on imperfection.
Moral of the story : Expect nothing and Appreciate Everything.
That way you’ll be happy, because when things go bad you will learn how to cope but when things go well – oh it’s brilliant.
2. We want EVERYONE to like us
Another HUGE mistake we make. The unbridled pursuit to make sure EVERYONE likes us. Really though, we know why this makes us unhappy- it’s because Not Everyone Will Like You All The Time.
And that is ok, because if you’re honest about it, you realise that being everyone’s cup of tea is not the best thing.
- Sure, not everyone may appreciate your values, but at the same time, everyone’s opinion is not what you should be worried about.
- After all people are very different, and many times they hold very different opinions so if you could even please them all – what would it likely say about you?
That you were compromising something important.
Do your all to have a good conscience and a lifestyle that you can really be proud of: those whose opinion really counts, will be pleased too.
3. 'Contentment?!' What is that??
Learning to find happiness in the little things that we are blessed with is the best way to keep joyful.
Because here is the truth: if you don’t learn to be satisfied and content with what you have, you won’t experience true happiness. You’ll keep chasing after things.
If you learn to be content with life and not stuff, you actually reduce your needs and increase your joy.
- We make ourselves unhappy by giving the responsibility of our happiness to material things. Depending on them.
We’re likely not all living the life of our dreams at the moment. But really loving and appreciating the unique privileges and opportunities we do have now, is underrated.
- I Want is a Big Part of our vocabulary. It’s crept up there and into our minds, so that we believe that wanting - then getting loads of stuff is what we need- when it isn’t.
Realize that your life may well be someone else’s paradise, and make the most out of it- or happiness will always elude you.
‘Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.’
4. My Boots are Stuck in The Past
Dwelling on the past is the next major thing we do that makes us unhappy. Recalling bad memories repeatedly can sting you every time.
Reflection on past events helps us to make our future better but if you are stuck in the past, you can become emotionally worked up.
- You can’t live in this phase but mentally remain in that phase.
The fact is, what’s done is done so there’s no use in dwelling on things you cannot change- especially when it just causes you more upset.
Our minds have a way of bringing back past events, even making them seem worse than they were - and then we afflict ourselves with endless thoughts about how things should have and could have gone differently.
- It’s quite strange that we do it, even though in our heart of hearts we know it’s not good for us.
- Your past doesn’t have to define who you are forever.
The good news is that we change and improve with time, so we should embrace that and not punish ourselves with our past failings.
Next time you feel weighed down by past events, think of your most recent achievements and remind yourself that a good future relies on you renewing yourself and moving on.
A most pleasant way to sum it all up,
You can’t start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one….
5. Comparing Ourselves to Others
This is one BIG thing we do that makes us unhappy. We compare ourselves to people unnecessarily, and often when there is no real basis for doing so.
- We compare ourselves to people who live lives that are essentially ‘fictional’. We never really know the whole story yet we convince ourselves that the grass on the other side is greener.
It’s quite sad how often this happens when in fact we have much to be grateful for and we don’t realize that our lives are often more joyful than the people we envy.
- We take the joy away from ourselves and lessen our self- confidence whenever we allow ourselves to believe social media lead lies and false fantasies.
When on a face to face- everyday level, we compare ourselves to others based on what we think they have and we don’t, even with things that we obviously don’t need to be happy.
Once we can change that: learn to have self-confidence and see past what causes jealousy at the moment- we have gone a long way as a whole.
See more here : Social Media Envy –and Social Media’s Biggest Lies.
6. We Postpone our Happiness...
I’ll be happy when…
We let ourselves believe that we cannot find happiness or that happiness belongs to a special set of lucky people.
No.
- If you keep on feeding yourself on the notion that happiness will come at a future date, then you’re never really going to find it are you?
Reaching all of your ‘goals and dreams’ doesn’t not always equally ultimate bliss and happiness, unfortunately.
- Happiness should come during the journey, not just at the destination.
- So one of the best things we can do, is try to find happiness now – wherever we are in life, not to set it at a future time.
- Start living in the present and take pleasure in the blessings you have at this very moment.
So, what next? (a few final words)
Thank you so much for reading! I hope it helped you to think about the question : ‘why am I so unhappy’ and some pains we inflict upon ourselves by having an incorrect attitude.
Let’s smile together and put away the habits of miserable people.
There are so many things to be happy about if we open our eyes!
What Would You Say About This?
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