Sometimes it's good to experience things yourself - to have firsthand knowledge, rather than hoping that someone will hand things to you, giving you the easy way out. Let's talk about it...
When you're trying to do something you've never done before, you can feel overwhelmed and even lonely. You have no idea what you are doing, and for the most part, it's trial and error.
So one might think that it would be better if they could get a sort of cheat sheet to what they want, not even a cheat sheet really, but someone who leads their journey, controls it and lives it out for them. However at the end of the day, you should be willing to take a huge part / if not all of the responsibility for your journey if you want to have something to be proud of at the end.
Going through the ups and downs of perfecting your skills shapes you as a person and makes you appreciate the work that's involved in reaching your goals. Sitting back and folding your arms while someone else does all the hard work won't. You won't appreciate it half as much (even if you think you will), and you will not have the skills or confidence to approach similar tasks in the future. You won't be able to mentor others either, unless you're willing and prepared to make a few mistakes yourself.
True, it's always wonderful to get good advice and a helping hand, especially from someone who knows what they are doing. But they cannot help you with everything. It's much better for you to experiment a bit, ask a few questions, apply the advice and do some learning along the way.
If you want to be able to call that project yours at the end of the day, you've got to 'get stuck in'. Nothing happens perfectly when you're starting out, but knowing that and having a flexible mindset will help you be resilient when the going gets tough.
Learn what has helped other people in the past, but also create your own data. The research you conduct based on your own specific situation will be more valuable anyway. Besides, things change. The best way to know how to be successful at what you're working on is to work at it. Experiment and observe. You'll learn something new and valuable from every perceived failure.
As tempting as it may be to sneak a peek at the marvellous workings of another person's brain, I like the fact that sometimes you're the only person who can help you. You'll likely even have ideas that are hard to explain to another person, so the only way to move forward with them will be by actually trying those ideas out.
Looking over at another person's test during an exam is called cheating, and it is frowned upon. So why even attempt the same thing when it comes to approaching real life tasks?
Just because something is challenging doesn't mean that you need to rely on the intellect of others. Even if something's not your strong point, by studying hard and practising over time, you can see huge improvements.
You can come a long way and 'pass those exams' with flying colours. You don't need those answers given to you - you can generate them yourself.
Moreover, as we mentioned earlier, some people simply will not have your answers. Sure, they may have a tried and tested system that worked for them, but the answers you need to succeed might be quite different. Going back to the exam analogy, back in school there would be two different exam booklets handed out. Row 1 had version A of the test, row 2 had version B of the test, row 3 had version A, and so on...
There would be no point of peeking over at your neighbour's exam booklet. They didn't have your answers. Same applies here. Those who tried to rely on the work of others throughout school eventually hit brick walls where they had to know the stuff themselves. If they had used that time studying instead of watching others, they would have done absolutely fine. Being patient enough to push through the learning process is enriching, and absolutely worth it in the end.
Finding the answers by preserving through uncertainty will give you self-confidence and the assurance that you are just as capable as anyone else. You'll feel much more satisfied at the end of the day, when you realise how much knowledge you lacked at the beginning, but how far you came as you refused to give up.
It's your journey after all, so be willing to patiently work and wait as the answers are revealed.
You can read, talk to people, collect information - but no one is going to give you the definitive magic formula on how to start a successful business, improve your self-confidence or manage your time. Many people can help, and please look for help - but don't expect to have it all handed to you.
There is dignity and joy in embracing both the struggles and the victories that you encounter as you start something new.
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