Personal development is based on the idea of continuous improvement. So the idea of "don't ever settle for less" shouldn't come as a surprise.
Recently, I've come to appreciate how vital it is to keep not settling, in any aspect of life. I've realised that choosing to settle for less is the same as giving up on yourself, and it can have adverse pyschological effects.
A strange thing happens: when you choose to settle for less in one aspect of your life, that attitude starts to creep into other areas. You start underperforming.
It has been said that the limits of your mind are the limits of your world. To settle for less than you know you can achieve is to put imaginary limits on yourself, which will eventually become real limits.
Not settling will mean something different for everyone though, because priorities differ from individual to individual. So it becomes a really pesonal thing, you are the only person who can really know if you're settling for less, based on your goals. Your real goals - not the plan B you've come to accept.
We often settle for less when we lose faith that we can reach our goals. It's kinda crazy, because instead of working really hard to get there, we lower the bar. But when you lower the bar, you send yourself a subconscious message that you're not as good as you thought. It can be quite destructive, actually.
Something quite different happens when you refuse to settle, even if it seems it will take a while to get where you want to be. Once you have decided that deserve more and will work hard to get there, who can stop you really? You just can't beat the person who never gives up.
It's also important to note that a mindset of not ever settling should not be based on a false sense of entitlement.
At the end of the day, it's promising not to settle on yourself.
It's not an excuse to have lofty expectations of others or unreasonable demands. It's about the work you do on yourself and the standards you set.
Not settling is about developing self-confidence. After all, when you have a healthy view of yourself, reasonable interactions with others will naturally follow. You will not hold on to toxic relationships or chase people who don't care about you. Those behaviours stem from a lack of confidence. If you think that you don't deserve love from others, or you think you can never make good friends, then of course you will settle.
When you say that you will not settle, your walk has to match the talk. As you improve yourself, you will naturally attract great opportunities and those who have high standards for themselves (and self-respect), too. Those who refuse to settle.
Just because we refuse to settle for less, does not mean we should be ungrateful for everything we currently have.
No, quite the opposite.
People who can't be happy are people who are ungrateful. They've settled so badly, that they've already picked who to blame for what's not going right now, and what won't go right in the future.
When you decide to not settle, you officially make peace with who you are and the life you've been given. But you approach it from another angle - you realise that you have the power to make it what you want it to be. At that moment, you realise the blessing we all have of free will and the opportunity to choose who we each will ultimately be.
And it makes you happy, because there's so many things in our lives we can insist on doing really well.
For a second, push to the side the things you were born with/ inherited /experienced that are less than ideal.
When you choose not to settle, you say this:
I am not confined by my circumstances.
I will be the very best version of myself I can be.
Once you're on that pattern of thinking, that's when things really start to change for the better.
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