How to Forgive Yourself - An Open and Honest Guide to Self-Forgiveness

Sometimes forgiving yourself is harder than forgiving others who have wronged you. Let's talk about how to forgive yourself and leave shameful memories behind.

How to Forgive Yourself - A Open and Honest Guide to Self-Forgiveness

We are all imperfect, so we often do things that we later regret. But sometimes we find ourselves doing something that we are extremely ashamed of  - something that troubles us day and night.


At such times you may be burdened with guilt, wondering how you will ever forgive yourself. It is no small matter - whatever we have done threatens to stick to our long-term memory and confiscate our peace of mind. 


How can you regain your self-esteem if you ever find yourself in such a situation? That is what we will consider today.


How to Forgive Yourself and Regain Inner Peace

Here are some steps you can take to forgive yourself and regain your inner peace. Self-forgiveness isn't easy, but it's certainly worth it when you eventually succeed. 


Realize that your future success depends on your ability to move on


Realize that your future success depends on your ability to make peace with what happened and move on.


It is quite possible that you have a past that you are not proud of. You may think that you have reached the end of your journey- that you are hopeless and that there is no use in trying to move ahead and correct issues in your life.


But many times that is far from the truth. You can get up.


Accept and learn from your faults


You can be the person you wish you were from day one. The key step to a successful future is to not give up on yourself. However bad your mistake, you can be back on your feet, if you keep the right attitude.


You have the power to change your life, your outcome. It starts with accepting, meditating on and learning from your faults. Next, you must try to come to terms with whatever you've done that has lowered your self-esteem.


Take the negatives, look them in the eye and turn them right around into life lessons that will keep you on the path of accomplishment.


Remember that everyone makes mistakes


Remember that it is normal to slip up. Even the most cautious person will trip up at some point in their life. Maybe on an icy day, maybe when they accidentally miss their step. The fall is inevitable. It will happen. But the most important thing is getting back up. Shaking the dust off, but carrying on nonetheless.


Self-Forgiveness is Self-Care


The desire to forgive yourself is healthy. It shows that you care about your own wellbeing, and that you want to live a happier life. You want to put the past behind you and rid yourself of any moral discomfort or uneasiness. That’s a good thing.


So to forgive yourself you must see that it is within your best interests to move on to a fresher outlook.  And just do it. Train yourself not to allow things that should stay in the past to hurt your future.


Release the emotional burden


Have a good cry. Cleanse yourself of all the emotions you've been repressing. 


Sometimes the emotional burden you carry may be just too much. Just too heavy to toss to the side. However much you try, you find that you are unable to throw it behind you.


The pain demands to be felt. So allow yourself time to weep over your mistake. After all you need to think through it and be truly sorry before you can begin trying to forgive yourself.


But don’t mourn forever.


Make sure that your tears aren't empty and futile. Think about what you dislike about your error, why you hate it and what exactly you want to do about it from there. This critical thought is vital to changing and adapting your life so that you don’t fall over on the same mistake again.


If you need to, write it down. Document your thoughts and feelings then look over them a few weeks later to evaluate your actions. When you have forgiven yourself, you can rip up the paper and really let your burden go, not grow.


Bottling up your emotions can be dangerous for you. And for some, crying is just what is needed to let go of those negative emotions.


Crying oneself to sleep is better than going to sleep with bottled heartache. Still better is not having to cry in the first place. But if you can feel the tears welling, don’t fight them. Take time to release your pain and relieve yourself.


Another way to let your deepest emotions out is to say your thoughts out loud, even when you are alone. Project your feelings out loud, to help you get to grips with your emotions, because the truth is, sometimes we just need to understand ourselves better.


Sometimes we need to connect our heart with our brain and mind. To organize our thoughts and plan out a solution.


Self-Forgiveness is Self-Care

Don't carry the burden alone


Confide in a kind listener. It may at first seem mortifying to share your emotional burden with someone else. It's easy to reason "this is difficult for me to come to terms with, it would be embarrassing to share it with someone else. "


But you'll be amazed at how liberating it can be to share your emotions with someone who will listen patiently. It will bring you a measure of freedom and relief, to know that you are not alone, that you have a listening ear. 


Choose someone who you can really trust to take your words seriously and not bring you down. Most times, you will be able to find someone who will give you their eager attention without being judgemental. Someone who truly wants to be a good friend.


When you do, you will gradually feel the weight lifting from your shoulders. Having another person's perspective will help you see that you are human, and it's normal to make mistakes.


Never forget that something similar has happened to someone somewhere, in the past and it will happen in the future. Your confidant will likely appreciate your trust and openness towards them and even look out for you in future situations. 


Allow yourself to live a better life


Do your best to lead a lifestyle that you can be proud of. Do what makes you feel fulfilled.


This will help you move ahead and separate yourself from any negative situation that occured in the past. Surround yourself with positive minds, people who will inspire you to press on and never give up.


Set goals for yourself and create a realistic plan to help you achieve them. Keep working to change the aspects of yourself that you are not so pleased with.


Commend yourself often and resist the temptation to go off course. See yourself as a work in progress, as this will help you to achieve your full potential and not get discouraged.


Whatever past action it is that causes you discomfort, keep in mind that letting it go will bring you greater personal freedom and happiness.


Remember, the past is a place of reference not residence.


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