What ticks you off? Is it your teenage son that ignores everything you say? A so-called-friend who always talks horribly about you behind your back? Perhaps it is the fact that you work hard and honestly every day, yet your employer does not seem to appreciate your efforts. Or maybe it is those incompetent drivers who always seem to drive slowly in the fast lane, tailgate you car, or cut you off.
There are so many situations and people out there; you can make you feel really angry. So how are you going to deal with those angry situations? Will life really be better if you keep on acting out of anger? Actually, anger is more likely to make you life worse, and more stressful. And what is the point of harbouring anger and resentment, especially when the person you are angry at is living their own life happily and oblivious to what you are feeling?
Here are a few more good things to think about. There is a good chance that your anger is having effects that reach further than that present moment of fury. Your angry behaviour might be scaring the people around you, and you may be putting off potential friends. Your anger might be making it hard for you to think clearly and make good decisions. Your anger may lead you to impulsive and even aggressive and destructive acts.
Indeed, you might be painfully aware of what you anger is costing you. As you learn to reduce your anger, you'll be able to make better decisions in your life, manage your relationships better, and behave in ways that are likely to bring about the results you want the most.
Misfortune, unfairness and disappointment are part of everyone's life, and the way you react to those events can be managed. Putting anger in its proper place will help you live a vital, happy and upbeat life.
Try to avoid people and situations that you know are bound to make you angry. Now this is not always do-able. But there are many times, where you can avoid or escape a tense situations, by using forethought and discernment.
Avoidance refers to anticipating problems and intentionally not joining in with people or situations where you are likely to become angry. Escape refers to removing yourself from situations after problems arise and you notice that your anger is building.
Quickly walking away from the scene is one of the easiest ways to overcome anger. A wise proverb from the bible says that an 'intelligent person sees the danger and conceals himself, but the inexperienced keep going right on and suffers the consequences.'
Another way to control anger is by counting to ten. Taking some time out to reduce your anger is a wise idea and will help to diffuse the situation. Count to ten slowly in your head, or out loud if it is appropriate. Breathe slowly and try and remove any negative thoughts of what might have been said or done. Try your best to relax and cool down by closing your eyes and imagining yourself in a calm and peaceful place. Counting to ten is an easy and effective way to separate yourself quickly from a stressful situation. As you count each number, you are buying out time for yourself to cool down -what's more, every second you spend counting is a step in the right direction, a step that will take you further away from that angry moment and will help you to start thinking clearly.
Another way to control anger is to remember that people are imperfect. People will always say or do things that they really do not mean. It is just human nature. Remember that you yourself have likely said or done something that to hurt someone that you were not proud of. People make mistakes and it takes strength and a clear mind to be able to see that and allow people to make those errors without taking things too seriously. So before you lash out at others, think about this and realise that there is no need of being mean.
Also keep in mind that people have bad days. Someone may have trodden on that person's feet too in a figurative sense. They may be upset and angry and perhaps they have not been able to manage their anger effectively. So be retaliating with anger, you may be adding more fuel to the fire.
Two wrongs do not make a right as they say. Try and look past a person's harsh remarks to see if it is just someone who is struggling themselves. Although this does not take away the fact that they have been unkind and have also made you angry, thinking this way will help you to balance your anger and see the bigger picture.
Learn to let go. Honestly, tt does you far more good to let go off an upsetting matter than to take it with you everywhere. Although it is easier to vent your anger and become aggressive, you will feel better in the long run if you just push the matter aside . It will give you peace of mind, as harbouring angry thoughts will just drain any possible happiness from you.
A quote that I have often thought to be true is: 'He who angers you controls you.' If you allow others to provoke you, it gives them some sort of power over you. If you try your best to over look the matter, you will be controlling your anger rather than letting your anger control you.
Take a walk. If you have just received some news that is making you feel stressed out and angry, go for a walk. Get some fresh air and exercise. Walking around will help you release some negativity and allow you the space and freedom to think constructively.
Sometimes our environment can have a big impact on how we feel. Going for a walk will help you to organize your mind and calm down. You might see some nice scenery that will give you a better, positive outlook and improve your mood. Taking a walk will give you time to think clearly, out of your usual surroundings, or a confining space. Just try and analyze what happened and think openly. Then you can deal with it later when you are calm.
A good piece of advice is to keep track of your anger management, especially if you are prone to angry moments. Set a goal; resolve that you will keep cool-headed for a certain period of time, perhaps a month. Check back to see how well you have done. Setting a goal will keep you motivated to achieve your plan, and when you look back, you'll be proud of your efforts to control your anger. You will get better each time, and will feel great.
So those were my tips on ways to control anger. I hope you enjoyed reading them . Getting angry never really solves anything; in fact it can make things worse. However, controlling anger is definitely possible and keeping these suggestions in mind will help you to overcome any angry feelings that you can sense building.Healing the Angry Brain: How Understanding the Way Your Brain Works Can Help You Control Anger and Aggression
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