How would you describe the feeling of disappointment?
To say the least, disappointment is a crushing feeling. It takes your hopes and dreams and throws them out of the window. When you've experienced disappointment, it throws you off balance and may take a while for you to get back to the optimism you once had. But it is possible to manage disappointment and grow from it.
Here are 5 things you learn from disappointment...
The first and foremost thing that you learn from disappointment is that you were expecting too much. Disappointment helps calibrate your perspective, and informs you that you should never expect that much, especially of other people. Disappointment may also alert you that you expected too high results from yourself, and perhaps your expectations were not backed up by the required work ethic.
Although disappointment can be painful, it can actually help you develop a sense of gratitude.
Yes, you may have not got what you hoped for...
...but you did get something
...what was that?
Every time I reflect on times when I was disappointed, I start to realise that there were parallel events surrounding the disappointment, that actually brought me joy. Appreciate every positive surprise, no matter how little. Appreciate the moments that were actually better than you expected and give thanks for them.
Developing a mindset that looks for things to express gratitude for, always seems to reduce the impact of disappointment.
Disappointment helps you to appreciate the factor of time. Perhaps your dream will come true, but it will take a bit of time.
We often expect things to happen instantly, but in reality some things just take time. Disappointment can help you realise the importance of patience, because although you can't seem your hopes being realised at the moment, perhaps you can see them being realised in the near future.
It's a crazy journey, and sometimes you just need to hold on tight and enjoy the ride til you get to your destination. Disappointment puts you through ups and downs, but through it all, you learn that you need to give your goal more time.
I always say that the passing of time is a beautiful thing, and who knows what you'll be able to look back and see when some months and years have passed?
It's likely that you never anticipated the effects of disappointment before it happened. But one thing is certain, and you always realise it by the end: Disappointment shapes you.
The person you are before and the person you are after you've experienced extreme disappointment are.so.different. Disappointment changes your outlook on life and your approach to various situations. In the big things and the little things, your actions will often reflect what you've been through.
And for the most part, this might be unknown to the rest of the world. You might be the only one who knows why you do things a certain way. Because you've been disappointed, really badly. But this doesn't mean that weakness has to be the sign of your disappointment. Strength and wisdom can be the sign of your disappointment.
You've been disappointed, but you've learned from it. And now you're slightly more cautious than you were before and nowhere near as naive as you were before. You show a little bit more discernment and you take the time to really listen and understand the environment you're in.
You've changed, but in the best possible way.
Another thing you learn from disappointment is that it can lead to analysis paralysis.
Disappointment can make you over-analyse absolutely everything. This is especially true when the disappointment involves your interpersonal relationships. We can't read other people's minds, so when we are disappointed by someone, we go into an endless cycle of trying to analyse what went wrong. It's a dreadful cycle, you have a need for closure but you're getting nowhere with it.
At some point you have to make peace with the fact that you may never know the reasons why you were disappointed. But that doesn't matter. You work with what you do know. At that point you basically switch from analysing the another person's actions to analysing ways you could have avoided disappointment.
And that's how you get better.
Disappointment teaches you that sometimes you will long for certain information, but such information is often irrelevant and so you need to divert your attention. Because happiness is a choice, and your recovering from disappointment ultimately hinges on your willingness to let yourself be happy and move on.
One of the best things you learn from disappointment is that you can get over it. You don't realise this straight away because you normally don't get over it straight away. Sometimes there's disappointment, then residual disappointment, before you overcome it completely.
The most beautiful revelation occurs when you reach this stage, and of course it's different for everyone: You've become more mentally and emotionally balanced and stronger...like really strong. You're in fact shocked by the amount you've grown as a person.
And then you realise a sweet, sweet thing: That disappointment can never hit you in the same way again.
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