We've been talking a bit about friendship on the blog recently, if you haven't checked it out already, my last post was about 3 friendship do's and don'ts. Sometimes friendships seem to change when one friend seems to be achieving more life milestones than the other. Let's discuss why having a friend who is more 'successful' than you is actually a great thing:
Perhaps the most obvious argument - if you have successful friends, you're more likely to be successful too. Success is highly relative, but if you are surrounded by a person/people with a good work ethic and resilient mindset, you're more likely to be motivated to reach your own goals too.
We definitely get affected by the people we associate with. Research suggests that you are the average of the top 5 people you spend time with. By being around someone who is more successful than you, you have more opportunities to watch and learn, and that can be invaluable.
So it's wise to be supportive of a friend who is more successful than to shun them because they seem to be doing better than you. Remember, there is something to be learned from everyone we meet, especially a loved one who is doing well.
Another reason to be happy when your friend is more successful than you is because your attitude ultimately makes the difference. When you are at a level of friendship where you really count on one another and support each other, then a win for one is a win for all.
You can think of your friend's success as a positive achievement for the whole group of friends or a larger community. This will help you be even more proud of your friend and appreciative of the hard work they've put in.
If you notice that you are jealous when your friend starts doing well, then this calls for some serious self-analysis.
You've really got to ask yourself why you became friends with them in the first place.
A true friend is a loyal friend, a friend that is selfless and not bothered about how they look in comparison to their pal. At the end of the day, friendship is about the experiences you have, your similar interests and values - not the amount of money in each of your bank accounts or who buys a bigger house.
When you shift the focus of your friendship from how well you're doing financially or a similar measure of success, to reasons you admire each other as people, your friendship becomes a whole lot stronger.
Finally, when you appreciate the achievements of your friends instead of resenting them, you will have many more opportunities to get to know awesome people.
After all, if you insist that your friends always be less successful than (or even just as successful as) you, then you will always have a smaller pick of friends. Allowing jealousy to get the better of you will stunt your growth as an individual.
You'll enjoy a wide range of valuable friendships if you're someone who is willing to be friends with those who seem to be doing better, as well as those who are still working their way to their goals.
It's important not to discriminate, but to support those around you who do well. People are much more likely to support you if they notice that you are a loyal, supportive friend to others.
So be happy if your friend is more successful than you! You can both be very beneficial to each other.
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I recently read a short excerpt by Alain de Botton that made really reflect and think: Can we blame others for not understanding us? Let me explain:
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