The first easy step to beating shyness is to 'fake it till you make it'. This is essentially visualizing yourself being more confident, and working up towards that. Although you may not feel 100% comfortable in social situations now, keep positive and see yourself having the level of confidence that you really wish for.
An important part of this is to stop labeling yourself as as shy person, keep your eyes open to your potential. When we persistently call ourselves shy, we psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations.
As you visualize yourself letting go of shyness and being more comfortable, involve all your senses. Close your eyes and imagine yourself being happy involved in a discussion... motivating music in the background, etc.. and go from there. Do this often. It will really help you to believe in yourself and be ready when the time comes to get out of your comfort zone and mix with others.
Practice displaying confident body language, and practice speaking clearly. Studies show that good posture helps us feel less stressed, more authoritative, and confident.
Confidence, including social confidence, comes through action, practice and mastery.
If you feel shy, it can be difficult to talk even though you really may want to. Make up for it through good eye contact. Eye contact can be useful in connecting with others around you, and showing them that you are actually interested in what they are saying.
According to a study at Queens University, Ontario, Canada, eye contact increases a person's likelihood of participating in a conversation. It works both ways. If you maintain good eye contact you are more likely to gradually feel more comfortable and start talking. Furthermore, it encourages the people around you to continue the conversation, because they know you care about what they are saying.
Keeping good eye contact during a conversation will help you forge an emotional and meaningful connection. Knowing this can make you feel better if you tend to be quite quiet. You are still a valuable member of the interaction, simply by listening and showing interest through your eye contact.
A smile exchanged between you and the other people will help you all to relax and break the ice.
A good way to beat shyness and bring in confidence is to find and embrace your strengths. Although it might seem as if social interaction is not your biggest strength, do not get disheartened. Always remember to look for the things that bring you joy and that you know you have success with, and allow these things to boost your confidence.
Someone once said that if you want others to like you, you have to like yourself. If you go into a conversation or social setting with a poor view of yourself, you are very likely to shy away and not make the most of that time. Whereas if you have a little bit more self-confidence, you will speak passionately and you're more likely to have a great time.
We all have different ways of expressing ourselves and unique talents/abilities. It's important to acknowledge and take pride in the things we do well even if they differ from what everyone else does or is doing. This does not mean that you become arrogant. Rather, finding your strengths will help you to realize that you have plenty to offer to any group or situation. This way, you are more inclined to speak up.
Get a good understanding of yourself. Think about your unique abilities, the advantages they provide and how you can apply your skills so as to see good results.
Be fully present in the moment and aware of what is taking place around you. You will be able to perform better socially when you are paying attention to the people and the cues in the environment around you.
Instead of focusing on yourself and trying to guess what people may be thinking about you, focus on the others. Put away the unnecessary judgement, and resist the urge to be so self-conscious. People tend to get distracted as they contemplate their own 'awkwardness', that they miss the beauty of the interaction.
Become interested in learning about the people around you, and invite them to talk about themselves. Beating shyness involves taking a step back and learning to appreciate the scene that surrounds you instead of getting frightened by what could go wrong.
Become absorbed in the words and what they convey. This can help you take the pressure off yourself and allow you to enjoy the conversation better.
To beat shyness, you have to learn to be uncomfortable . This is especially important as you may have to go out of your comfort zone sometimes, and you need to be mentally prepared for when things do not go as planned.
Do not run away from a situation that makes you feel nervous. This is one of the most vital steps you can take to beat shyness. When you run away every time you feel uncomfortable, you get nowhere! Each time you try to find a hasty exit to avoid social interaction, you end up reinforcing your shyness. To make progress, you have to keep trying new things and get used to different situations.
Not all your interactions are going to be perfect, so try not to hold onto the little things that don't seem to workout, but rather, be grateful for the experience. Each time you speak to someone new it gives you a new chance to grow and widen your world view. As you keep on conquering your fear of the unknown, you learn how to handle social anxiety more effectively. See unexpected circumstances as opportunities for personal growth.
If ever you face rejection, don't take it too seriously, just move on. Avoid falling into self-pity and wasting your energy by getting worked up over small situations. We all face some form of rejection at some point, you just have to pick yourself up and try again.
The truth is, shyness does not mean you have no social skills. You may be a great listener, but you may find it hard to get your voice out there. Keep setting and reaching targets when it comes to conversing with others, and you will experience great joy as you see yourself becoming more comfortable and sure of yourself.
You can do it! You can beat shyness!
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