Irish Poet Oscar Wilde once said:
"Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
Ideally, we all would like to be the former rather than the latter.
But what exactly contributes to a calming personality?
What thoughts and attitudes are behind the people who bring out the best in us...the people who prove to be a safe haven in today's stressful world?
Let us explore the answer to these questions, because they hold huge significance to our happiness and wellbeing.
People with calming personalities are usually quite confident.
We're not talking about a loud or obnoxious type of confidence, but rather a deep-seated inner confidence that radiates through everything they do.
Calming people are sure of themselves, so they make you feel sure of yourself.
That's not to say that they don't have insecurities (because we all do) but it's just that they don't let those insecurities dominate their attention and mental energy.
They know they're not perfect. However, because they've already made a commitment to personal development, they can enjoy the journey rather than beating themselves up about how far they have left to go.
Active listening is a skill that calming people have expertly mastered.
Rather than rushing to provide a solution, they like to sit and listen.
Sometimes the calmest people have lives full of turmoil and trouble. But you would never know, because they are heavily focused on helping and being there for others.
People with calming personalities often derive great satisfaction from being spectators of the human experience, as well as participants.
A calming personality goes hand in hand with an observant personality, because the subtle cues a calm person picks up enables them to be a safe space for others.
When such a person responds after listening to you, it's a moment of awe-inspiring anticipation, because you know that they've fully soaked up everything you've said.
A key hallmark of a calming personality is a tendency to be non-judgemental.
Calming people take things as they are and like to give people the benefit of the doubt.
This is a quality that makes them fantastic friends, because who can resist being around someone so accommodating?
Their non-judgemental attitude does not mean that calming people do not have opinions.
Of course they do.
It simply means that they won't let their minds get carried away with dwelling on hidden meanings and motives.
Life is too short to wonder whether that person really meant what they said, or to question whether that one friend is secretly out to get you.
The best you can do is approach each moment of life with confidence in the information you have presently. When you know better, you do better.
On the other hand, people with calming personalities are measured and balanced, and they rarely ever come across as being too nice.
What does it possibly mean to be too nice?
Have you ever met someone who was just doing too much and showing too much interest in relation to how much they knew about you?
Think: someone you just met five minutes ago telling you that you must be their soulmate.
Whenever we deal with situations like this, it generally makes us feel uncomfortable, because it's too intense and simply cannot be genuine.
When people try too hard, it almost makes you wonder what they want from you...
Calming people never give off that vibe.
While they value your friendship, they don't beg for it, and deep down you know that they'd be content and whole without it.
That's what makes a relationship truly valuable, when someone doesn't need you, but instead chooses to stick around and be there for you.
If you've ever dealt with a prima donna personality, you know how exhausting it can be to be around someone who constantly wants the spotlight.
In contrast, people with calming personalities do not seek all the glory for themselves.
They are happy to share their achievements with others, and delight in having a "the more, the merrier" attitude.
That's one of the reasons you can be so calm around such people, because you don't feel like you're in competition with them.
And really, when it comes down to it, because they compete with no one, no one can compete with them.
Calming people recognize that silence is powerful.
Where others rush to fill a pause in a conversation, calming people sit and savour it.
They find pleasure in allowing a dialogue to progress naturally, and refuse to talk for the sake of talking.
In addition, because they are comfortable with silence, people with calming personalities typically spend a lot of time in self-reflection and possess high levels of intrapersonal intelligence.
In a world where so many are scared of silence, the ability to enjoy it is a quality that makes calming people stand out quite strikingly.
Rather than viewing the silence itself as awkward, calming people view the social pretences that we tend to approach conversations with as awkward.
If we could all just say what we mean and mean what we say - and otherwise say nothing at all - the world would be a much calmer and less confusing place...
Calming people expect good things to happen, and their optimistic attitude often rubs off on others around them.
It's incredibly refreshing to be around someone who has a positive pattern of thinking - someone who focuses on the good and sees beauty in everything.
A calming personality is also a grateful personality.
People with such a mindset don't take things for granted. They make sure to count their blessings, both big and small.
Ultimately, calm people know that a bad day/week/month doesn't equal a bad life, so even when things don't go as planned they're able to dust themselves off and move onward towards their goal.
Did you relate to any of the above points? Were you reminded of anyone in your life who has a calming personality?
Even in the mayhem of modern life, we can all strive to develop a calming personality. Not only will doing so enhance our inner peace, we'll also be nurturing a beautiful gift that we can share with others.
Thanks for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it!
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